The Dial^® For Men Filthocratic Oath:

I welcome dirt and mud into my life with open arms because I believe that dirt makes the man.
I know that the dirtier I am, the better my day must’ve been. So I wear my filth proudly because
it’s a badge of honor. Carry on, oh mighty men of muck because Dial for Men is over-engineered
to transform you from the foulest of manly creatures into acceptable members of society.
Dial For Men. Get your dirt on. We’ll get it off.